Places my books would be good to read:

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1. The waiting rooms of doctors, dentists, psychiatrists.

2. In the toilet, for dipping into. (Not like that)

3. In the passenger seat of your car to distract tiresome passengers, leaving you to concentrate on Ken Bruce’s Popmaster (if they’re one of those freaks who can read in a car without feeling sick).

4. In your handbag or manbag.

5. Pride of place on your coffee table, to “start a conversation” at your elegant soirees.

6. If you find yourself living in a shotgun shack, or living in an another part of the world, in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife.

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Places my books would be unsuitable to read:
 

1. Behind the wheel of a large automobile.